Birth Stories
Birthing stories, written by our clients
I noticed some mucus in the afternoon and mentioned it to Ben. With our first birth, I had a bloody show and surges started later that night. We both agreed it was a good sign but not to panic. After the bedtime routine, I mopped the upstairs floor and washed my hair, which, looking back, was a good prepping sign. Then I went to bed. I went for a wee at 11 p.m. and had more mucus. I went back to bed but woke Ben at 12:50 a.m. saying I needed to put the TENS machine on, as recommended by our midwives for first surges.
We went downstairs. Bless Ben, he had only just had an hour of sleep after finishing the chores. I wanted to eat, so Ben got me Crunchy Nut cereal, a cup of tea, and some cake. I started to get regular surges, but I told Ben that they couldn't be that much, as labor takes so long to ramp up. Lol, I must have been in denial. He said they were coming quite rapidly and contacted the midwives to drive over, as they were a bit of a drive away. The TENS machine was a lovely distraction, and I'm glad we practiced where it worked best for me, as trying to adjust it during labor would have been annoying. Our midwives told me the TENS would give me a nice sense of control, which was completely true. The only annoyance was putting it up and down with each surge, as I wanted to be completely relaxed in between, especially in early labor, when you don't realize how much you can relax and talk. I was having lots of surges but wasn't paying any attention to time or length; that wasn't my job. My brain was completely switched off. I wasn't being asked to make decisions, just watching Friends and focusing on breathing and being very relaxed in between. I was just breathing in and blowing out longer, all through my mouth, not my nose, as I never felt I got enough air. I didn't count; that was too stressful for me. I felt like this time I chose what worked for me from hypnobirthing and books I read, rather than trying to do everything by the book. I used a comb and pushed it with my other hand. I didn't visualize and only had a few ideas in my head about trusting my body and muscles, relaxing my body, and opening my pelvis with movement. Our lovely midwives turned up at 1:30 a.m. and started quietly measuring the baby and me between surges. Ben and the midwives immediately started working on the birth pool, which was a nice way to take the focus off me, as I was worried about being observed and it enabled me to focus on myself, having a nice time watching Friends with noise-canceling headphones. Ben was starting to rub the top of my shoulders in reassurance during surges (as he couldn't massage my back because the TENS machine was in the way). It made me feel supported, like he was right there with me. I changed positions between kneeling over a high-back armchair (perfect for knee and head support) and on a cushioned footrest, sitting on it and then leaning over it (I never found the birth ball easy to lean over, and the birth ball wasn't comfortable for me during labor last time). I can highly recommend trying out positions in early labor to test what works and what doesn't. I was having Ribena and Haribo when needed. I started to feel a bit sick, which for me was usually because I was hungry, so the midwife offered me a banana, which helped. After a while, I did feel sick, and as I did last time, I did throw up, which I expected but didn't want to not eat and deprive myself of energy if I needed it for a long labor.
Unlike my previous labor where everything was on my back (back to back, but I didn't know it at the time), this was surreal. I could feel the surges across my lower stomach and feel it rise up like a pinching curtain/blind.
I had no vaginal examination, so I kept my clothes on the whole time, only offering my tummy for measuring, which enabled me to relax down there and fully open. They only checked on the baby, but never during surges. Looking at the midwives' notes, they knew how I was doing from the frequency of surges and their experience and expertise; they didn't need to know how dilated I was. I remained focused. I started to wobble and asked for gas and air. Luckily, I knew how to use it from last time, and Ben knew when I opened my mouth to put it in so I could hold my comb. I started using gas and air as I could feel a surge wave coming, breathing as before and trying to stay calm. When I felt it was enough air, I would stop using it but still hold the comb with the TENS machine on constant now.
I don't think I felt a transition, but I could feel a shift across my lower stomach, a wider band working together, pulling me forward, even onto all fours. I did have a moment where I wanted to lie down (which could have been transition) but only managed holding the sofa and laid my head down, with Ben holding my arm and me holding the comb and using gas and air. Midwives suggested breaking water that he might be out quicker, but I decided that I didn't want the intensity to increase as I could handle where I was but not more. I was proud of myself for advocating for that decision. At some point, I looked at the curtains to check the morning light, as Joshua was upstairs sleeping and could hear us if he woke soon. They suggested I go to the toilet, so Ben carried me on one side, and a couple more surges later, I felt great movement, and apparently, my waters broke. Then all I was thinking was, I can't give birth in the tiny toilet room, so I had to waddle out but couldn't get further than 2 meters. The birth pool was only used for me to lean over with Ben still holding me. I still had my headphones on, so those came off so midwives could guide me through the last surges. His head was there, and my midwife said I could feel the head, but all I was thinking was I just need him to be caught. Weirdly, before our baby came out, in between surges, I thanked Ben for being there, saying I loved him, and thanking the midwives for being amazing before the last surge, then he came gushing out. I didn't feel a ring of fire, just pressure; my muscles did it all. When he came out, all I wanted to know was, "Is he okay?" I heard him cry.
Noah James was born at 6:50 a.m., so exactly 6 hours from the first surge. We waddled over to the sofa with the cord and baby attached. He came to my chest on the sofa. I think Joshua woke by this point. We prepped him before about Mummy making "moo-ing" noises, and Ben put on some telly upstairs for him, reassuring him Mummy was fine and the baby was here. We felt the cord pulse and waited for it. Then Ben cut the cord. Ben did skin-to-skin whilst I stood to push out the placenta in two. I lay down and had skin-to-skin wrapped in a towel. Vitamin K injection. Midwives said stitches would be easy on the bed, so we decided to get Joshua down from our shared bedroom ready for school. A lovely part was calling Mum next door saying, "Baby is here," and asking if she could help get Joshua to school. Ben got Joshua, and he met the baby before school—a perfect Monday start. All Joshua's teachers kindly made a lovely fuss of him as he told them all he was a big brother now.
We moved upstairs. Ben did skin-to-skin, and our amazing midwives did some stitches with me on gas and air. Then I got to sit back in my bed with Jaffa cakes and a perfect cuppa. Midwives did some checks on the baby. Ben got to measure his weight. He started feeding. Midwives gave us support with feeding and info for the next 12 hours and said they would be back that evening to check on us. Midwives finished tidying up and left us at 9:30 a.m.
It was a surreal experience.
It made me feel restored.
I now know what it is like to give birth, which sounds weird considering it's my second birth. I felt like Ben was and could be a proper birth partner, not a helpless bystander. I was supported 100 million percent.
I now understand those birth stories where it just sounds too perfect, but it is possible. I am so, so glad we did what we did, and I made the birth my own, knowing what worked for me and owning it. Highly, highly recommend Sage Femme Nyree and Jenny if you feel having private midwives would help your journey.
Our first birth experience felt like a car crash into an ultramarathon as we were so sleep-deprived, in shock, and had to navigate parenting exhausted. This time was more like a dodgem car ride into a casual park run. Everything was easier this time: recovery, sleeping, and feeding, and I feel that was hugely down to having a positive birth experience with Jenny and Nyree.
During Alice's first birth the clinical hospital setting made Alice anxious which made her labour long and challenging. In her own home she birthed beautifully with the support from Ben. Her privacy was really important and helped her to get in the zone to be instinctive.
It was a privilege for Jenny and I to be there.
Helen had a difficult first birth, she had got to be fully dilated when it was discovered that her baby was presenting with a brow presentation and she needed an Emergency Caesarean. This had left her feeling anxious and like a lot of women who have a caesarean after a long labour she really wanted to have the experience of a vaginal birth. Having her birth at home gave her back some of the control that had been missing the first time and it was wonderful to see her sense of achievement afterwards.
When I first met Karin she had very low expectations about
having a baby. She was unfamiliar with childbirth in the UK and felt that
getting through the experience alive and with a healthy baby was all that she
could hope for and expect. This made me feel quite sad and over the months of
getting to know her we worked on building her confidence and letting her
realise that she could make choices and expect the birth of her baby to be a
wonderful memory.
Jayne was very excited about the birth of her first baby and really looked after herself well and put a lot of effort into preparing for it as much as possible. She practised hypnobirthing which meant that when her labour progressed more quickly than perhaps we all expected she remained calm and focused. She also coped brilliantly when there was a change of plan when the baby passed meconium and it was necessary to go into hospital. There are several clinical reasons why the choice of where to have a baby may need to change but Jayne was able to accept this calmly and still have a really positive experience.
I was delighted to look after Jane again and to see how much Oliver had grown. There was a wonderful moment when Oliver was dancing to the rhythm of his brother’s heartbeat at one of the antenatal visits. Jane birthed Louis in the water and this time got the home birth that she had aimed for first time round. Once again she was calm and her birth was very peaceful. Last year Jayne birthed baby William at home in the water. It was my pleasure to be there again.
Amy’s complex medical history meant that she was understandably very apprehensive about how safe both the pregnancy and the birth would be for her and her baby. Despite this she always tried to be very positive even when she was in a lot of pain with restricted mobility. We worked with a great team at the hospital and prepared a birth plan which enabled Amy’s planned caesarean to be as personal as possible.
Permission agreed in advance with all clients for their stories, testimonials and photos to be used on the website - 2018